Author's note: This chapter contains triggering material in the middle section. It regards to sexual assault so please read with discretion. If you have suffered from sexual abuse or assault, just know, it is not and never was your fault. Please do not suffer in silence. Please talk to someone. Talk to me, even. I am here for you, and I love you.
----------
Holland stood across from her father, a nervous expression in her eyes as she twiddled her thumbs in circles.
"Holland, what is it?"
"Daddy...there's a boy and I think I might be in love with him. His name is Eli. The thing is..he's required to be here for a really long time. I want to go home but I also think I want to be with him and--"
"Wait. You met this boy here, in the hospital?"
"Y-yes...but Dad, he's so misunderstood. He's a lot better now, just like me."
She knew she shouldn't be comparing herself to him. She hadn't murdered someone in a psychotic break. But she wanted this plan to work. She just wanted her life to go back to normal, except now she wanted Eli too.
"And I was wondering, if there was a god out there that could help him. Peitho or someone like that to you know...make his mandatory stay not so mandatory."
"Holland, I can't believe you're asking something as preposterous as this. I cannot condone this relationship. You met him in a psychiatric hospital. You are both here for a reason and finding love is not one of those reasons."
She let out a sigh of frustration. She knew how ridiculous her request sounded but she had to try.
"Dad, love never plans itself. It just happens. You of all people should know that! You're the one that told me to hold on to whatever it was that was keeping me sober. Well guess what, that's Eli.
I've never asked you for anything. For years you shut me out, made me feel like I was never good enough to love. He's not perfect Dad but neither are you. You've caused so much carnage and chaos so you have no right to stand here and judge anyone. Just think about it. Please."
Ares started to speak but Holland turned in a huff and walked away. Maybe she got through to him, but he was the god of war, so he was nothing if not stubborn.
----------
He caught her in the stairwell. He had the same sinister look in his glossed over eyes. His stubble was overgrown and his hands were rough as they gripped her arms. She stood with her back against the concrete wall.
"Holland, where have you been? I've missed my favorite patient."
She stammered, her voice small and quiet, struggling to stay calm, "I haven't been needing therapy..."
"But we were having fun. Making progress. Were we not getting somewhere? Bonding, even?" he said as he grazed his finger down her arm.
She trembled underneath his touch. He inched his face towards her, his weight looming against hers. He lowered his lips to her cheek.
"P-please don't. I don't want this."
He stopped. And she let out of breath, hoping it was over with that. She tried pushing his arm out of the way to escape, but it was as solid as the concrete corner she was backed in to.
"Holland, you're mentally unstable. You don't know what you want."
She felt a lump rise and fall in her throat. She was better, even despite Jesse. Even if she was emotionally unstable, she was stable enough to say no. She tried shoving him, placing both hands on his chest as his lips met the skin of her neck. Her eyelashes became damp with tears as a shiver with barbs and glass made its way down her spine.
"Get off of me!" She punched at his chest as he ran his hands all over her body, pulling her close to him when she was dying to get away. "Somebody help me!" she screamed briefly before he covered her mouth, his other hand dipping underneath the waistband of her pants.
The door to the stairwell flew open with a fury as Eli stood there, eyes widened and enraged. He charged the man in front of her, their bodies colliding with one another and plummeting down the stairs.
I can't be here. I have to go.
Holland ran out the door, not glancing back for Eli or what he was doing to her former therapist. She didn't know where to go. Should she tell someone? Would anyone believe her? Would they blame it on her?
Holland tried to force those thoughts out of her head as she found herself at the nurses station, heaving and crying to a security guard.
-----------
She didn't know why she stayed.
Okay. Yes she did. Because she hadn't heard what she wanted to hear from her dad. The doctor she was supposed to trust with her most inner thoughts and confessions turned out to be a sick fuck that belonged in the psych ward, but not to help people. It seemed like this place just got better and better.
It was on the news. He left in handcuffs. Her parents called and she said she was willing to stay. She was still scared to be out there on her own. But now she was scared to be here too. She had nowhere to run and everyone to avoid. But not everyone wanted to avoid her.
She was sitting in room, staring aimlessly at the soap opera that was on TV. It seemed like that life was a documentary on how paper was made compared to hers recently. And it only got even more turned upside down as she saw Jesse come through the doors, a bouquet of roses in his hand.
"Hol! Babe!" He preened as he sat the flowers down and threw his arms around her. "God, I saw the news. What a sick bastard. I'm here for you Babe, whatever you need."
Holland was taken not only by the bear hug, but the surprise. She didn't have time to react before the cigarette smell on his jacket was suffocating her.
Eli had been giving her space, but he knew that she should talk about it. He knew that she would talk to him when she was ready. Right? Wrong.
Or so it seemed as he came to console her. It'd be the first time they'd spoken since that day a few weeks ago. But he saw Jesse and his arms around her and his vision went blurry. His chest tightened, from pain or rage he wasn't sure. They had always felt so similar to him.
His feet turned him around and he seemed to float down the halls, back to the concrete stairwell. He sat on the bottom step of a flight and he stared at the small blood stain that got left behind. All the emotional, and now physical blood he'd spilled for her just to go back to the one that had caused her so much pain. Why was he always risking himself to save her? Maybe she should save herself.
Or save him.
----------
Holland stood across from her father, a nervous expression in her eyes as she twiddled her thumbs in circles.
"Holland, what is it?"
"Daddy...there's a boy and I think I might be in love with him. His name is Eli. The thing is..he's required to be here for a really long time. I want to go home but I also think I want to be with him and--"
"Wait. You met this boy here, in the hospital?"
"Y-yes...but Dad, he's so misunderstood. He's a lot better now, just like me."
She knew she shouldn't be comparing herself to him. She hadn't murdered someone in a psychotic break. But she wanted this plan to work. She just wanted her life to go back to normal, except now she wanted Eli too.
"And I was wondering, if there was a god out there that could help him. Peitho or someone like that to you know...make his mandatory stay not so mandatory."
"Holland, I can't believe you're asking something as preposterous as this. I cannot condone this relationship. You met him in a psychiatric hospital. You are both here for a reason and finding love is not one of those reasons."
She let out a sigh of frustration. She knew how ridiculous her request sounded but she had to try.
"Dad, love never plans itself. It just happens. You of all people should know that! You're the one that told me to hold on to whatever it was that was keeping me sober. Well guess what, that's Eli.
I've never asked you for anything. For years you shut me out, made me feel like I was never good enough to love. He's not perfect Dad but neither are you. You've caused so much carnage and chaos so you have no right to stand here and judge anyone. Just think about it. Please."
Ares started to speak but Holland turned in a huff and walked away. Maybe she got through to him, but he was the god of war, so he was nothing if not stubborn.
----------
He caught her in the stairwell. He had the same sinister look in his glossed over eyes. His stubble was overgrown and his hands were rough as they gripped her arms. She stood with her back against the concrete wall.
"Holland, where have you been? I've missed my favorite patient."
She stammered, her voice small and quiet, struggling to stay calm, "I haven't been needing therapy..."
"But we were having fun. Making progress. Were we not getting somewhere? Bonding, even?" he said as he grazed his finger down her arm.
She trembled underneath his touch. He inched his face towards her, his weight looming against hers. He lowered his lips to her cheek.
"P-please don't. I don't want this."
He stopped. And she let out of breath, hoping it was over with that. She tried pushing his arm out of the way to escape, but it was as solid as the concrete corner she was backed in to.
"Holland, you're mentally unstable. You don't know what you want."
She felt a lump rise and fall in her throat. She was better, even despite Jesse. Even if she was emotionally unstable, she was stable enough to say no. She tried shoving him, placing both hands on his chest as his lips met the skin of her neck. Her eyelashes became damp with tears as a shiver with barbs and glass made its way down her spine.
"Get off of me!" She punched at his chest as he ran his hands all over her body, pulling her close to him when she was dying to get away. "Somebody help me!" she screamed briefly before he covered her mouth, his other hand dipping underneath the waistband of her pants.
The door to the stairwell flew open with a fury as Eli stood there, eyes widened and enraged. He charged the man in front of her, their bodies colliding with one another and plummeting down the stairs.
I can't be here. I have to go.
Holland ran out the door, not glancing back for Eli or what he was doing to her former therapist. She didn't know where to go. Should she tell someone? Would anyone believe her? Would they blame it on her?
Holland tried to force those thoughts out of her head as she found herself at the nurses station, heaving and crying to a security guard.
-----------
She didn't know why she stayed.
Okay. Yes she did. Because she hadn't heard what she wanted to hear from her dad. The doctor she was supposed to trust with her most inner thoughts and confessions turned out to be a sick fuck that belonged in the psych ward, but not to help people. It seemed like this place just got better and better.
It was on the news. He left in handcuffs. Her parents called and she said she was willing to stay. She was still scared to be out there on her own. But now she was scared to be here too. She had nowhere to run and everyone to avoid. But not everyone wanted to avoid her.
She was sitting in room, staring aimlessly at the soap opera that was on TV. It seemed like that life was a documentary on how paper was made compared to hers recently. And it only got even more turned upside down as she saw Jesse come through the doors, a bouquet of roses in his hand.
"Hol! Babe!" He preened as he sat the flowers down and threw his arms around her. "God, I saw the news. What a sick bastard. I'm here for you Babe, whatever you need."
Holland was taken not only by the bear hug, but the surprise. She didn't have time to react before the cigarette smell on his jacket was suffocating her.
Eli had been giving her space, but he knew that she should talk about it. He knew that she would talk to him when she was ready. Right? Wrong.
Or so it seemed as he came to console her. It'd be the first time they'd spoken since that day a few weeks ago. But he saw Jesse and his arms around her and his vision went blurry. His chest tightened, from pain or rage he wasn't sure. They had always felt so similar to him.
His feet turned him around and he seemed to float down the halls, back to the concrete stairwell. He sat on the bottom step of a flight and he stared at the small blood stain that got left behind. All the emotional, and now physical blood he'd spilled for her just to go back to the one that had caused her so much pain. Why was he always risking himself to save her? Maybe she should save herself.
Or save him.
No comments:
Post a Comment